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The Vice President of the National Association of Evangelicals ("The NAE Wants YOU--If You're An Old White Guy"), Rev. Richard Cizik, somehow got the stupid idea that when the Bible says that God created the earth and then made us the stewards over [INSERT DIVINE POSSESSIVE PRONOUN HERE] creation, it means that we should actually take CARE of the planet. What a goofball. Some evangelical heavy-hitters, like Dr. James Dobson (Ted Haggard, ex-president of the NAE, was unavailable for comment as he was busy being really, really straight), have written the acting president of the NAE and demanded Cizik's ouster for his "relentless campaign" (their words) against global warming.
The Irish Catholic Bishops Conference (motto: "Ain't No Party Like An Irish Catholic Bishops' Party") has some pretty wacky ideas. No I'm not talking about masturbation as a mortal sin. Nor am I talking about the concept of transubstantiation. I'm not even talking about the idea that a man believed his fiancee when she told him she was pregnant NOT with his baby NOR with another villager's baby but in fact with the child of a loving (and horny) God. This is much wackier.
Hey, did you know that the Earth doesn't revolve around the sun? Yep. According to yet another important-sounding PAC called the "Fair Education Foundation". This group is in the news this week for working with Georgia Republicans to draft a memo that was distributed to lawmakers demanding that a law requiring only "facts" be taught in school and not this idiotic "theory" of evolution. Oh and also, evolution is apparently the invention of some archaic, Jewish sect according to these people.
Life Decisions International (LDI), a Washington DC-based group that has attempted to organize boycotts against companies that contribute to Planned Parenthood, has lashed out at the broadcast networks for allowing "programming that blatantly mocks Christianity." The group wasted no time denouncing Wednesday night/Thursday morning's episode of Late Night With Conan O'Brien, in which the host introduced a new character, "the homophobic country-western singer"... oh yea, you have to hear these lyrics...